


Oblivion

by orphan_account



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec - Freeform, Angst, Gen, M/M, Magnus - Freeform, Malec, Malec Angst, alec angst, alec suicide, hardcore angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-07
Updated: 2019-02-07
Packaged: 2019-10-24 00:56:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17694521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alec just wants to slip away





	Oblivion

 

**Alec PoV**

His heart was sitting like a hole in his heart.

He looked at the pavement,

So far.

So impossibly near.

It would end it.

He knew that.

It seemed he had always been a beat off, even in childhood, and it only got more cacophonous in recent years, his brain being forcibly shredded into multiple streams of self hatred and indecisiveness.

His hands were shaking, from the cold or anticipation, it was impossible to tell at this stage.

It hurt.

Everything hurt.

It has hurt for so long, it seemed his brain rebelled at the mere action of waking up nowadays. The tiredness that ran through his limbs, no matter how much he had slept the night before. Then, sometime during training with Jace, he found he muscles grow slower, his mind more turbulent. Eventually Jace called for armistice, telling him to sleep it off. He went to his room, and he tried to sleep, really. But he started thinking of life, of death.

How small the gap between them is. How much he wanted to close that gap.

And then it would be over.

He felt every fiber of his being longing for release, but some instinctual part of him rebelling against the self destruction.

The only thing left to do was build up the courage. But at the least wanted moment, he thought of Magnus. What it would do to him. How much pain he would be causing a man who was forced to watch every single mortal he loved die. And he was about to purposefully cause that pain early.

But it hurt.

He obsessively ran his fingers through his hair and cursed.

Goddamit.

 

 

**Magnus PoV**

The clock ticked comfortably, the sound cushioned by the otherwise silent room. Magnus was frowning back and forth at a spell Catarina had sent, and a 'comprehensive' book of earthly languages. Catarina having claimed it was a language she had never seen.

Unfortunately the 'comprehensive' book hasn't heard of it either. It was stretching into a peaceful night and Magnus decided this nonsense could wait until tomorrow. Getting up to turn off the light, he heard a haunting laugh behind him. Pausing at the light switch, he simply said

"It's rude to come into a room without knocking first on earth, father."

Asmodeous simply scoffed.

"Well that's hardly a polite way to greet your father. Thankfully I'm not hear to listen to you, I'm here to teach you a lesson. Insolent as ever I see."

 

"Ah... so the 'lessons' you taught me, the ones you dragged out of the pain of my youth weren't enough."

 

"Well it certainly seems they weren't!" His father shot back, standing and thudding his cane down. He stepped menacingly towards Magnus, spitting out "Because would you believe Magnus, that especially in the last thirty years, I've listened to every species of demon under the sun, tell me how much of a spineless yellow bellied brat." by this stage he was practically spitting on Magnus' face. "My son has become. I will not allow you to mellow, it's unfavorable to my own image."

 

"Well Lucifer forbid something happen to your image."

 

Sarcasm was not a good choice. As the slap that followed proved.

 

"I simply can't wait to see how delightfully petulant you will be after I manage to tell you why I'm here."

 

Whatever this was going to be, it sure wasn't going to be good. Asmodeus wouldn't crawl out of Edom just because Magnus forgot to write.

 

"What are you here for?"

 

His father laughed.

 

"I'm not actually going to do anything much myself. However I have been watching your little suitor, and as I'm sure you know, his mental stability isn't too durable."

 

This wasn't new information. Magnus and Alec had talked about Alec's depression before, but they always talked it out when it got bad, and Magnus had convinced him to see an (admittedly) mundane therapist once a fortnight.

 

"What's that got to do with your presence?"

 

"Well you'll find that with the smallest effort of my influence in his mind, and a conveniently placed ledge, Alec might suddenly find it in his interest to silence his mind, through any means necessary. " Magnus paled

 

"What exactly do you think that'll do, Turn me off love? I've had my heart been broken in every way known to humans, plus a few more. Alec has nothing to do with how I behave, father."

 

"I haven't even told you the worst part."

 

"Really? Making my boyfriend fucking kill himself isn't the worst part." He felt suddenly enraged. The few joys he was able to desperately able to hang on to in an immortal life, and his father, whom he hadn't seen in literal centuries had the audacity to try to take one of them away. He raised a hand against him, rather to strike his father back, but it was caught before he had the chance.

 

"Now, now, don't forget that no matter how mystical and godlike some of the humans might think you to be, you're still only half-demon."

With Magnus' arm in his grasp, his father opened a portal singlehandedly, dragging Magnus with the minimal effort that comes with the Millenia.

 

**Alec PoV**

Curse this entire fucking planet. Specifically the cat eyed bastard who was the only frayed thread holding him to it. He looked up, wishing for stars, but only met with hazy clouds that looked artificial.

Rather more appropriate than stars for the mood.

He hadn't stepped on the ledge yet, some part of him waiting for a Deus Ex Machina.

 

**Magnus PoV**

"ALEXANDER"

His throat was raw, he had been screaming since they arrived on the other side of the portal, but there was clearly some sort of invisible sound barrier.

This was the worst part Asmodeus had talked about.

Making him watch.

Asmodeus lifted his hand up, constricting the air from Magnus' throat.

"That's better. I suggest you cease trying to prevent this and appreciate the lesson you insolent whelp."

So he watched.

In silent dread.

 

**Alec's PoV**

His adrenaline had hit a peak. He stood on the ledge suddenly. Tired of waiting, for the right time, for non conditional happiness, for anything at all.

His cheeks had become soaked at some stage, his eyes now running a constant stream. He closed his eyes and whispered a soft

"I'm sorry Magnus"

Before slowly tipping forward towards oblivion.


End file.
